DISSENSION IN THE RANKS

100% Survival . . . Of Evil

A party seven strong gathered at the game table one week with great resolve, to beat their bad habit of losing at least one party member in every adventure since they couldn’t remember when. This time they would ALL live!! However, during the course of the dungeon’s challenges, two of them got into a heated debate between robbing the dead and letting undead bones lie still. Fortunately, clearer heads prevailed, and they agreed to settle their dispute after they exited the maze. This they did, and as soon as they felt moonlight on their faces, they got into a brawl. The ‘holy man’ seemed to relish beating the paladin’s head against a boulder until it was rather squishy, proving that his god was stronger and thus he was right to leave the undead lying still. Unfortunately, provisions in this particular fantasy world gave a party member murdered by another party member a percentage chance at rising as a powerful undead to seek vengeance, and if the murderer was any manner of priest, the chance was a whopping 95%! Needless to say (but I’ll say it anyway), the undead did not lie still this second time, and since it was a ‘monster’, the adventure was, technically, not yet over. Alas, the party did not make it back to town with a 100% head-count, unless one counts undead-heads, which all the party members became, returning to town not to sell booty and trade copper for crystal, but to hunt human blood.

Traveling through the Darkwood, the party’s blood ran chill when they heard the baleful call of spectral hounds and the haunting horn of their huntsman master. The party formed a ring, while the ever-neutral ‘Brian’ hopped onto his magic carpet and lifted off. As the party proceeded to die beneath him, repeated pleas to Brian for saving at least a few with his king-sized carpet and ring of wishes went answered again and again with the repeated, almost prepared answer "How much ya gonna pay me?" In the end, the hounds alone remained beneath Brian, their numbers swelled by a few newly converted souls. Brian forgot that not only was his ring out of wishes, but that his carpet had a limited number of rounds left for flight. The spectral hounds paced beneath him, casually glancing up with dark, soulless eyes as Brian steadily lost altitude.

The Hunter Never Misses . . . Neither Does Stupidity

‘Zach’ and his companions were wandering through a forest, seeking the road and evading ‘The Hunter’ at the same time. Rumors in the previous village had warned them that The Hunter was attracted to both fire and magic. When it started to grow dark, the group was worried, but wanted to press on, believing the road was just over the next hill. It was getting darker and darker. One of Zach’s kind and trustworthy fellowship told him to hold aloft his magical dwarven firestone so they could see better. Excited about a treasure he’d forgotten he had, he complied, and, as the others waited and watched, he got an arrow from the shadows. And The Hunter was also rumored to never miss.

Good Advice

Okay, you’re new to the game table, there’s 6 of you, and 1 regular who knows the GM and his home-brewed rules. The old timer makes a ‘Wise Man’ character, so he can offer you, well, wisdom, and advice. A little metagaming there. Furthering the role-playing, your new half-dozen Neanderthal-worthy fighters specifically seek him out in the prelude just for his advice, and then proceed into the dungeon along with him. Among the countless times they ignore his advice include:

They come to a 30’ square room, totally empty, a door on the far side, and a pedestal in the center with a key on it. Wise Man sayeth, "Room be trapped!" Party no listen. Party take key. Party watch stone slabs slide down to block both doors. Party bring no food and not want to starve! Party make dex-checks and barely escape. Party swear to listen to Wise Man next time.

Next room, 10’ square cell, empty save for a key hanging on a hook. Wise Man sayeth "Room be trapped!" Party no listen. Party take key. Pit trap swallow half of party who this time no make their dexterity checks.

The divided party met their gruesome ends in a variety of ways, because ‘divided you FALL’, but let’s focus on the two still with the Wise Man, shall we? Prior to the game session, the GM gave his usual "This I show my world works" speech to these newbies, including graphic examples of how its Dragons are far more powerful than your garden variety wyrms in most RPGs. Later, turning a corner, our three survivors see a Dragon! The Wise Man casually turns around and walks back around the corner, out of breath weapon trajectory, and the Dragon lets him (because it is asleep). Our caveman fighters, on the other hand, declare that they should get a bonus to first initiative because they are trapped, and when cornered, can make a blood-curdling battle-cry to initiate an attack! The Wise Man exited the dungeon alone not long thereafter, the last two entries in his log each a single word: ‘Dragontoast’ and ‘Dragonfood’.